allthesame2me | [Video]

Entry tags:

[Video]

[Alex had been as surprised as the rest of his party to hear that they'd been in the tunnels for nearly a months' time when it had only felt like a few hours while they were walking around in them.

It really shouldn't have surprised him that such a thing was possible, all things considered.

As it is, sine the Keep seems to be currently without a chef, he's been keeping himself busy in the kitchen. He's got his laptop plugged into one of the only outlets in the Keep and though he can't get online at all, it gives him full access to his iTunes collection; which is currently playing in the background.]

So .. I would recommend not trampling around in the tunnels beneath the Keep unless you're ready for a whole time flux .. thing. We were gone for what we thought was just a few hours, and apparently, according to all of you and .. well .. reality .. We were gone for nearly an entire month.

We miss anything of interest?

[All the while talking, Alex looks to be preparing something in the kitchen. His hair is pulled back into an intricate braid and he's got on an old fashioned apron.]

Have the staff shown up again, or are they still missing? Joe, specifically ..

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... No. It's only us -- me. However you want to put it, there are no others.

[He'd have to actually be looking at the video feed to notice that. As it stands, he simply keeps looking at the wall. It's easier that way.]

I want nothing more than the freedom and equal rights of mages... but... I'm only a man. There are other things I want... as well.

[Alex notes that Anders seems determined to look everyed except at him. He listens as the mage explains his singular connection to Justice, finding it both fascinating and sad at the same time. That Anders was forced to surrender anything he might want in life save the things that Justice deemed worthy .. well .. sucked. It sucked a whole damn lot.]

Anders .. sweetheart, look at me.

[And he'll wait until the man does before continuing, even if it means a stretch of several minutes. He's a cat in many ways, Anders .. he can out wait you. There is no judgment in his blue-green gaze as he looks upon the mage.]

Your fight is a good one, and a worthy one. Mages of your world do deserve freedom and equal rights. Believe me, I understand that more than most. [He was, after all, facing quite the similar problem of equal rights for supernaturals on his own world.]

But that you have to wait until the Keep removes your abilities before you can actually breathe and be just a man .. That's a test that only the strongest of men could manage. But if that's how it has to be, then you can expect to find me waiting whenever it happens; and not straying far even when Justice decides I'm hanging around to much.

[His lips quirk into a smile.]

I can't possibly let Justice get bored .. what's life without a little temptation, hmm?

[It does take several minutes for him to work up courage to do so.]

How can you say that? You barely know anything about me... you don't know what you'd be getting into. Other mages may not be dangerous -- but I... with Justice in my head, I'm not safe.

There are so many better options -- so many better men.

I'm an apostate with no future and an angry spirit living in his body. One who's bound to end up dead if he returns home again.

[Alex's smile is soft and there is a wisdom in those eyes that is well older than his twenty years.]

Anders, you've not only seen, but experienced first hand what I'm capable of. And that's not a once in a lifetime thing .. it's every month. Every single month I put others at risk with my shifting. [His head tilts slightly.] And yet you still helped me. As dangerous as I am, you still went out of your own way to heal me and make sure I was alright.

Even after I hurt you.

[He shakes his head slightly, but that half smile seems ever present on his lips.]

You don't get to choose if there are better options, Anders. If you don't see yourself in the same light I see you, then it's going to be my job to get you to; my job to show you that you're a wonderful option.

If the spirit chose you or you chose the spirit .. I don't really give a damn. You can have any future you want, but it might mean working a bit harder for it. There are no definites, no decisions already made for us; not anymore. [He gestures around, as if to include the Keep at large.] This place has made that all to clear.

Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me for the length of your time here; and if going back means you're going to wind up dead, then you'll have an additional party member joining you, cause like hell it's going to be that easy.

Because it wasn't fair! It wasn't your fault, and they were punishing you. It was out of your control.

There was no justice in what they were doing --

[Oops. Time to catch himself.]

Bloody...

[For someone who's a self-confessed cat person, who's shunned even Hawke's pet, Anders sure does a good impression of a kicked puppy.]

No. I can't. No matter how hard I work, Justice will always be there. Mages will always be persecuted. I will never be a part of the Circle.

... I will always be the mage who destroyed Kirkwall's chantry, and killed the Grand Cleric. None of that can be changed.

[He puts a hand to his face.]

I don't know why you'd even want to bother. There... isn't as many redeeming factors as you seem to see.

[Alex listens and watches, seeing that flash of light in Anders' eyes as he begins to get himself worked up over it. However, he's not scared of Justice, as much as the being might like him to be.

Instead he remains silent, he gaze neither frightened nor fearful. If anything, there is a certain noticeable stubborn set to his jaw as he folds his arms across his chest.]

Then he will always be there, but that will hardly deter me from doing the same.

[He smiles then, the expression soft as he shakes his head.]

Anders .. sweetheart, we've all done things that we regret, but can't undo. Every last one of us; anyone that says otherwise is lying to themselves. We can't change the past, so far as I've learned, and I don't think there's any reason to change the past. The past is for learning and growing from .. To go back and change those events would take away from the reason they were done and the meaning behind the deaths that took place. No, it's not pretty, but neither is it something that you need to let fester for the rest of your life.

[He watches the mage as he covers his face, a soft sigh slipping past his lips as he looks at him fondly.]

Perhaps because I think you are worth it, Anders .. Maybe what you need is someone that sees that worth. [His lips quirk slightly.] Even if I have to beat you over the head with it on occasion.

You should be... I... No. It isn't that I want you, or anyone, to be deterred. But... it's so much safer. You don't have any idea what I'm capable of. What Justice is capable of. You haven't seen it.

[Nearly slaughtering that poor girl -- the Chantry -- a fellow Grey Warden. Death and destruction follow him now. He may as well make use of it, and turn it against the Templars. But if they're not here, it's innocent people who are going to suffer.]

Learning... generally implies we can move past what happened, and not repeat it. I don't have that option. Not anymore. I can always lose control, lash out... my friends are at risk just by association. Anyone who's more than a friend...

[And the thought of harming his friends alone is horrifying. To harm someone he cared for, in that way...]

[He doesn't lift his head. Maybe even responding to this message was a bad idea.]

You're putting yourself needlessly at risk... for a 'worth' that may not even exist.

[Alex's voice is soft and the irony of the situation isn't lost on the young man. He hadn't expected to fall for anyone here at the Keep and the fact that he was willing to fight so hard for this surprised even him. He wasn't sure what it was about the Mage exactly that called to him, but the fact of the matter was that he did and that was more than enough for the leopard. Call him a hopeless romantic, but he really was a fond belieer that anything worth having was worth fighting for.]

No. No I haven't seen, Anders; and I'm not trying to say that it's any less horrible than you're telling me it is when Justice doesact.

[He listens silently for a moment]

As for it being safer and being concerned for what could happen .. [His head tilts slightly.] .. Would it be safer for me to stay away from everyone on the argument that something could or might happen? After all, there is always the risk that I could infect someone here, isn't there? [He isn't even sure that infection would work here anyway, but that wasn't his argument. Just because someone wasn't infected the first time, doesn't mean that there won't be someone suceptible at some time.]

[Oh Anders, Alex feels very much the same way. He looks strained as he continues, his voice soft.]

I can't imagine if I ever lost control of my leopard at a time where I couldn't stop myself. Even here, where people seem to come back from the dead .. what if that isn't always the case? It's a fear that always lingering at the edge of my thoughts, even if I play the big brave boy. But .. I don't believe anyone should have to make themself a social pariah because of something that might happen.

[He laughs then, softly, and despite the situation and the turn the conversation has taken, there is amusement within it.]

Anders, everyday is a risk. Every single day.. but more often than not, it's a risk worth taking.

Edited 2011-08-18 15:11 (UTC)

... Infect?

[That's something he hadn't heard before. The other man didn't seem sick. He seemed perfectly healthy. And Anders certainly hadn't caught anything.]

[But if there's something to what he's saying, then...]

[It's too much to hope for. Isn't it? That there's someone out there who could understand. And cope with every strange thing he throws their way? Someone who, despite all that, wants to stand by him?]

[This isn't Kirkwall. There aren't any templars hunting apostates here.]

... You're serious, about all this?

[Alex gives a half nod to the singularly voiced question.]

Lycanthropy is a virus on my world. I'm pretty sure the only thing that saved people here was that we've been yanked to another world and things don't work the same. Just because I got lucky this time doesn't mean I always will.

[Then his soberness breaks, a smile tugs at the corners of his lips once again, and he nods.]

Serious as a heart attack .. possibly even more so.

... Virus. A disease. I've been able to heal diseases before.

[With Justice's help. Spirit Healers can do wonders back in Thedas. Even bring back the dead on occasion. Here... he's not sure how strong he'd be. But the statement still stands. With all its implications.]

Those are quite serious things. The... most serious. I'd say.

[There's a moment after Anders says the first, that Alex simply stares at him; completely at a loss for words. He'd never once considered that someone might be able to heal him of the virus that had taken over his body. He runs his tongue over his to wet them, and tucks a small section of hair that's escaped his braid back behind his ear. After a pause he speaks again.]

I'd honestly never even considered the possibility before .. it's not curable back home. I've been through nearly four years of shifting and becoming accustomed to everything the lycanthropy brings with it. I'd never thought that there could maybe be another option .. [He exhales in a soft whistle, chewing on the inside of his cheek.] There's pros and cons, you know? [Another moment of silence and then his blue-green gaze focuses on Anders once more and he's smiling again.] I tend to think life only gives you as much as you can handle, both good and bad. I think right now I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I am what I am for a very specific reason. No, every day isnt fun and yes i have to be careful when I'm around people, but life was never made out to be fair or easy.

[His gaze is warm and his tone is clearly touched and grateful.] Maybe some day, but for now I think I'm okay .. even taking into account my monthly issue. You've given me an option I've never dared even hope for, Anders. [His lips quirk into a grin and he gives half a shrug.] maybe I'm being dumb for declining that option right now and hell, I might regret it at some point .. but I never even had that choice until now. Could I perhaps rain check you, should circumstances change?

[And maybe they never would. But if they did it would be nice to finally have a choice. Maybe it would fail in a glorious ball of flames, but maybe it wouldn't. Life had a way of twisting and turning at the strangest moments.]

[Then his expression sobers, though the warmth at no time leaves his gaze.]

Oh, the absolute most serious, I should say.

I'm not sure if I could, here. My magic isn't... quite what it is at home. Something is holding it back. It's as if it's being... blocked. Just repairing broken bones took far more effort than it should have.

[He rubs at his temples, taking a breath.]

But... I can try. Should you ever decide you'd like to. I'll certainly try as best I can.

[Granted, it'd probably knock him out for a good few days, if it's as serious as Alex implies it is. However, he doesn't see the need to mention that.]

[He keeps his eyes averted, like he's still trying to work this out.]

So, I... now... what?

[Alex ponders this for a moment, nodding slightly.]

I wouldn't be terribly surprised .. On my world I have healing abilities that should have kicked in during my punishment. I should have been fine, save for where the silver was touching. I wasn't though .. my healing wasn't only weakened, but seems to have been removed entirely. I'm healing at a normal human rate. [If Anders had been looking, he might have seen Alex absently run his fingers over the scarring that wrapped his wrists. Had his healing abilities been working, there would be no scars at all.

He then smiles softly as Anders offers to help him, despite the fact that it might be difficult and prove not to work at all.

And yes, it might be best to keep that tidbit of information to yourself if you ever want him to let you go anywhere.

Anders voice is softer, but Alex has no problem picking up his words, even with the Mage looking studiously elsewhere.]

Well, now you don't need to be afraid of looking at me, for one.. and you shouldn't try to avoid me. [There is not a trace of anger or annoyance in his tone, only a soft teasing lilt that is accompanied by a gentle smile.] Now you know that you can call me if you're in need of anything and I can do the same for you.

We spend time together .. I'll likely cook for you, because you're in need of some good home cooking, I think. [His smile turns into a grin with a flash of canines.] I'll pamper you and spoil you right properly, likely annoying Justice in the process, but .. [He shrugs a bit, still grinning.] I'm charming .. I think he'll forgive me.

Healing? Another magic of yours?

[Because, yes, part of him is still convinced the other is some kind of alternate universe mage or something.]

I... could look at those. I'm not certain what I can do for scarring, though. The people in Darktown were more concerned with simply surviving than they were scars.

[But, again, he'll try. He's a healer, he can't help but want to fix people.]

[He glances up, with a trace of a smile. This is a phenomenally bad decision -- although that's probably Justice's raging. He can't tell. Not anymore, and that's why it's such a bad idea.]

I wasn't trying to avoid... anything. You were in those tunnels for a month.

[That's not all, Anders, don't be dumb.]

It... isn't necessary. The spoiling. I'm perfectly all right. I wouldn't know what to do with anything like that.

Of myself, yes, but not of others.

[He falls silent again as Anders offers to try to do something about the scars, that smile tugging at his lips once more.]

I wouldn't say no to the attempt, but if nothing can be done than nothing can be done. I got out of it alive and that was more than I was expecting .. [Which is the truth. Alex had been rather amazed that he'd survived that mess once he'd learned his healing powers were gone.

Then Anders looks up at him and there is the faintest of smiles on his face, but even that is enough to tighten his stomach pleasantly. He had no idea what would come of this and didn't doubt Anders' warnings, but all the same he refused to let Anders be the 'one that got away'. His brows rise minutely as Anders denies avoidance, his own lips quirking undeniably. They both knew what Alex meant, but he could play along just as well and not make reference to allllll that time before he'd vanished..]

Well if I plan on taking another jaunt into the tunnels, I'll make sure to drag you along with me. Lord knows, the first trip was fun enough to warrant another. [Only not.]

[And then a soft chuckle, Alex's expression softening once again as he shakes his head.]

Ahh, but you see, there's the rub .. You wouldn't know what to do, because you have not been properly spoiled in the past. This shall be rectified and I shall achieve it with only the barest amount of discomfort.

[Amusement flashes in his gaze.]

I... could try whenever you'd like. I haven't used my magic in a while. It should all be there. Nothing getting in the way of some quick healing.

[You can take the healer out of Darktown... but he'll still feel the need to put things back together again. He'd always been a healer. Even before Kirkwall, before Justice.]

[The spirit just sort of helped.]

Well. You wouldn't be the first one to drag me through dark, dank places riddled with danger and monsters from which we may never potentially emerge again. It's become something of an old habit. That... and being flung into danger.

[He rubs at the back of his neck, glancing away again -- but only for a second, this time.]

If I say I don't believe I deserve such a thing, you'll only disagree with me, won't you? No one... spoils a mage. We're too dangerous and volatile.

Instead, we get to swim in lakes and run circles around a Tower while templars make sure we don't consort with demons in the meantime.

[Or swim all the way across the Maker-Be-Damned lake to escape.]

[His smile seems unending, doesn't it? He inclines his head slightly.]

Well, we'll have to see about trying, then .. no harm in that at least.

[Then he laughs, the sound amused as he shakes his head.]

Well, then at least we'll be sticking to something you're used to. I think we'll have to see about breaking you from that rather perilous comfort zone, Anders. Unless, of course, you rather enjoy it? I'd not want to prevent you from an enjoyable past-time.

[His tone is teasing and clearly amused now and it's only at the last that he offers a wry grin, and nods.]

It's as if you know me .. If you have not been spoiled in the past, then I've got a lot to make up for. Clearly exercise is not a proper form of spoiling someone. Exercise is completely different from a proper massage, or a day relaxing with a book while being fed your favorite treats.

[Seriously, what even? Damned templars.]

Whenever you like.

[He means it. Just give the mage a shout, and he'll probably show up. Flustered and trailing feathers, but he'll show up.]

That tends to depend. As long as it's not the bloody Deep Roads, it hasn't ever been anything we couldn't handle. And as prevalent as the darkspawn are... I doubt they've managed to show up here.

[Yet. Darkspawn and demons show up everywhere. It's a sad fact of life.]

[He looks thoughtful for a second. Maybe confused.]

I don't think I've ever had one of those before.

[Books, certainly. He'd drawn in the margins of enough books to prove that much. Not the rest.]

The Circle wasn't much for pampering its prisoners.

[Alex inclines his head in response and then arches a brow as Anders mentions the darkspawn. It's the latter that brings his other brow shooting up.]

You've nev- .. You've never had a massage??? Anders, love, we simply must rectify this. That you haven't ever had a massage is just not allowable. I will take this matter personally into my hands .. It might be tough, but it will be a burden that I am most pleased to assist you with.

[No, really .. it would be totally twisting his arm to give Anders a proper massage. ;)

He shakes his head as Anders mentions the Circle, his distaste evident in his expression.]

There is no way that I can properly express my disgust with those that would treat anyone in the manner that mages have been treated on your world.

[He blinks. That wasn't the reaction he'd expected. Although, he's not sure what surprises him more -- the reaction, or the pet name.]

I... no. I haven't. Between the Circle, the Blight, the Wardens and Kirkwall... it never really occurred to me to so much as try.

[He's been a busy, busy mage. And it never seemed important.]

[He shakes his head, then, as well, lowering his gaze.]

You would be in the minority. Mages are feared. Reviled. And then sought after to fix everyone else's problems, and save everyone's lives.

[Alex sucks in his cheeks and sighs softly, shaking his head.] Well, you're going to experience one soon enough. Circle, Blight, Wardens and Kirkwall be damned, I'm going to see your mind taken off them all for a time.

[When Anders looks away, Alex stomach tightens and his brows knit slightly. There is no denying the conviction in his own tone when her replies, however.]

I would proudly take being in that minority, if that be the case. The man I'm looking at should be appreciated and not taken for granted. His is a friendship and power that should be valued all the time, and not simply when things are needed of him. Nobody needs fair weather friends that are that alone ..

I doubt that will be very difficult, considering out of all of the above... only one of them is actually present here.

[Him. The Ex-Warden. Oh well. That may be a discussion for another time.]

[He scrubs at his temples, taking a deep breath.]

You're a little biased, I think... I... did destroy an entire Chantry with my magic, after all.

[Video]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed] for the rest of time - Sorry for the delay, darling.

Video [Sealed] - it happens

Re: Video [Sealed] - it happens

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed] Red, ilu. <3

Video [Sealed] Bwha?

Video [Sealed] Anders is simply lovely. <3

Video [Sealed] Not all the time |D

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]

Video [Sealed]